Happiness, Love and Depression

If you think I have chosen a strange title, I have a reason. This morning I was checking out titles on Amazon books that contained the word “Happiness.” There are 72,331 books with the word happiness in their title. Of course, there are probably some with other versions of the word, but that really doesn’t matter. My point will become clear once I continue.

I then decided to look up the word “Depression.” My point being, if one is not happy they might be depressed. I found 36,499. Does this mean there are more people who are seeking happiness than those who feel depressed? I don’t think so.

No, I think what this means is that there are nearly twice as many people who are not blaming their lack of happiness on depression.  The readers of these books realize they may be suffering from discontentment, loneliness or any other emotion rather than labeling it as a chemical imbalance.

Ah, but does that mean people are reading these books. To figure that out I’d have to go through all the titles and look at their sales records, or just look at their reviews. Guess what I’m not going to do. That is because what I believe is that the writers of these books have given thought to the need before writing the books. Why would they write a book no one needs or wants to read?

I took my search a step further and looked up titles that contained the word “Love.” Wow! What a difference in the numbers. The number of those was a walloping 487,630. Should I have been surprised? Are there that many people who feel unloved? I don’t mean almost a half million people. No, it would mean many more. At least one of those books probably has sold several thousand copies, while most have probably sold at least one.  I wouldn’t even hazard a guess at the combined total sales of these books.

Books about love range from marriage improvement to family relationships. They also include books about people looking for love. That might explain the large number of sites offering a way to find the perfect mate. Or, in some cases, the large number of people finding love on social media.

I guess the point of this blog today is that I have read about most of these subjects at various times doing research for articles and stories. I have found some writers that I particularly like and have found to be highly regarded in their field. Today I want to share some of them with you.

Why now, during one of the most joyous seasons? A time when we should all be spreading love.

I will tell you why. Because we don’t always reach the ones who need it most. And sometimes we are just so busy we neglect to remember there are people who are not. People who are lonely or feel forgotten. 

Nothing takes the place of a one on one relationship of caring. However, sometimes that is not possible, or not enough. That is the reason I’m sharing my list.  Maybe you know someone who could use an uplifting read. Or, a self-help book.

Here are my choices:

Mommy and Me

I am posting this on the eve of our next journey together: Williamsburg VA.

For many people when they hear the words “Mommy and Me” they picture young mothers taking their infant or toddler to play time with their friends.  They sing songs, play games or just spend time sharing the joy of motherhood.

Well, for me, the words hold a different meaning.  I don’t remember there being such a group of mothers and children when I was a little tike.  Of course, that was a very, very long time ago.  Wait a minute!  That makes me sound old.  I feel anything but old.  I feel refreshed.  Rejuvenated.

That wasn’t the case a year ago when I suffered an injury that required surgery.  My dear mother was right there caring for me.  I admit, I was a bit hesitant to have her do that, since Mom and I don’t always see eye to eye.  But it went quite well.

So well, in fact, that when I required another surgery by the end of that year, I agreed to let my mother help me once again.  Actually, there wasn’t a whole lot of letting involved.  I was given very little choice, by my mother and my condition.

Once again, Mom and I got along fabulously.  I can never express how grateful I am to her for what she did.  And to God, for not only helping me with my recovery, but giving me such a kind, gracious mother.

Now our “Mommy and Me” time during my recovery was pretty much spent with her doing light housework and taking breaks to watch Food TV with me.  We enjoyed watching the shows, in particular “Paula’s Home Cooking”.

After my recovery I told my husband I wanted to do something special for my mother.  Ken, is a sweetheart himself, and quickly agreed when I suggested a trip to Savannah, Georgia, to attend Paula Deen’s Cooking School.

So, last week, Mommy and me, more or less had our play date.  We sang songs on the Gospel Riverboat Dinner Cruise.  Spent one morning lazing on the beach in nearby Tybee Island.  Took a trolley and learned about Savannah’s history.  Checked out all the shops along the river front.  And ate some of the best southern cooking we’d ever had.

One of the restaurants we went to was the “Lady and Sons” restaurant, owned by Paula Deen and run by her sons, Bobby and Jamie.  Our advice to anyone wanting to go is to get there early to make reservations, then enjoy some of what Savannah has to offer until it’s time to eat.  We got there at 9:30 am for the Sunday morning brunch and there was already a line.  Standing in the hot Georgia sun was tough, but we got reservations for the first seating.  The food was well worth the wait.

 

On our last day we attended Paula’s cooking school, held at her second restaurant, where she’s partners with her brother, Bubba, and appropriately named “Uncle Bubba’s Oyster House”.   The class was everything we expected and more.  Paula is a delight and truly is the “lady” as the name of her restaurant implies.

That evening we concluded our day with a meal at “Uncle Bubba’s”.  If you love seafood, this is the place to go.  But even if you don’t, there’s something on the menu for everyone.  Our only regret was that we couldn’t eat it all, and staying in a hotel, taking the leftovers was out of the question.

Actually, maybe there was another regret.  The regret that our trip was almost over.  Mommy and me had a great time!  It was a time to forget about our differences and just live in the love we each have for the other.

Ethnic and Cultural Relations

I admit I grew up in a white Protestant neighborhood, so as a child I didn’t have much contact with anyone who looked different from me, or had different beliefs than those I was growing up with.  I like to think, had I been raised in a diverse neighborhood, I’d have been a friend to all.

However, I won’t know that.  I just know that by the time I grew older and was faced with my first exposure to people of other ethnic and cultural roots, I proved myself seriously lacking in openness and friendship.  By that time I was in a clique of teens who looked alike, dressed alike and thought alike – and not always in very positive ways.

I regret those days in many ways.  I missed many opportunities to be the person I would have liked to be.  To be honest, I’m still working on being that person.

Today I live in a very diverse community.  And I find my main contact is still with people who are similar to me.  I’m not talking about color or religion, though it is sometimes the case.  Rather I’m talking about people who share the same experiences and values systems.

I think this is part of human nature.  People are closest to those who share similarities in their life experiences, such as marriage, children, grief or even hobbies.  As for value systems, I mean similar views on work, helping others and faith.

So, why am I writing about myself and my views?  Because I have a platform here to do that.  And although I consider most my writing to be objective, sometimes that is difficult to do.

Hatred is alive in well throughout the world.  It seems there is no ethnic or cultural divide when it comes to hatred.  There is enough of it to go around.  Symbols of hatred have been around as long as there have been humans, but because of today’s media we are no longer sheltered from it. It comes right into our homes.  Sure, we can refuse to read or watch the news, but I don’t think that is the way to handle it.

I do not believe marching and protesting are necessarily the way either, though I do not condemn anyone for doing that as long as it is done peacefully.  I just do not believe anything is really accomplished by force. Force breeds resistance.

I believe there are still many people, like myself, who do not have hearts that are filled with hatred.  What we lack is understanding, and that only comes with exposure and time.

Perhaps we all need to step out of our “cliques”, our comfort zones and get to know people who do not share many similarities with us; but perhaps, we’d find we do share a few if we take the time to find out.  That is a starting point to building a better more diverse circle of friends, a better community, and maybe even a better world.