I ask you the question, are needy
people draining you, too? By that
question, you probably realize they are draining me. I don’t like feeling that way. I would much rather have the patience of a
Saint and the solutions to everyone’s problems.
Of course, if I had that kind of
patience, there would be a statue someplace dedicated to Saint Pam. There is not.
If I could solve everyone’s problems,
I’d probably be rich, or at least have been on Oprah, where my fame would be
launched, soon to be followed by those riches.
Well, I can tell you my bank account is only double digit and my caller
ID has yet to come up with Oprah on it.
And speaking of caller ID. I have found myself checking it more
consistently before answering. I have yet to refuse to answer a call from
anyone; but I’m prepared to do just that.
You see, I’ve found myself feeling emotionally drained after talking to
some people.
Yet, I do care. I’ve recently acquired several books in my
quest for information that will help these needy friends. One by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
titled, “Safe People”; and another by Stephen Arterburn titled “Healing
is a Choice”. I’ve spend the better part of my vacation
reading them. And what did I learn?
From the first, I learned that if I
don’t stop worrying about my friends, I will be the one to have the
problems. I’ll go from clenching my jaw
and headaches, to sleepless nights, to higher blood pressure, to serious
illness.
Yet, when and if that happens, I know
those same needy people will be among those who call to see how I’m
recuperating. That’s exactly why I spend
the time reading those books. Because I
care.
And there I am, clenching my jaw
whenever I see one of their names on the caller ID, feeling my blood pressure
rising as I answer, forcing myself to sound positive and supportive, instead of
saying what I really am tempted to say.
Then by the time I hang up the phone
I have a headache, my stomach is in a knot and I feel tears stinging my eyes
because I feel that I have failed my friends again.
So, perhaps I need to reread that
book that reminds me about “Safe People”, and give each of them a copy
of “Healing is a Choice”, because after reading it, I know that’s
exactly what it is. A choice both of
them had to make for themselves.
The books mentioned in this article are available below:
